You want to know my favorite game? Of course you do. My absolute, all-time, favorite game is the “Who has the worst driver’s license photo?” game. You know why? Because I ALWAYS win. Always, hands down. No one has yet to defeat my title and that’s because, as you might have guessed, I have the world’s worst-ever driver’s license photo.

Here is a brief description of how this game usually goes down: someone decides to say they always look bad in photographs, someone else jumps in and says, “Oh yeah?! Then you definitely haven’t seen my driver’s license picture. It’s a mess!” and then the other person replies, “Whatever, mine is the worst!” Then the group begins fumbling through their wallets to pull out their licenses for comparison. For your reference, I’m sort of sitting in the background, waiting for my cue.

Eventually they come to a consensus about who in the group actually has the worst picture and they all giggle and the person chosen takes the ridicule in stride. Then I make my move.

“Wait,” I say. “You haven’t seen mine yet.”

And I show them.

And looks of abject horror followed by stunned surprise come over them.

Then I get laughed at for a while, but I don’t mind – I’ve won the game.

You’ll find as life goes on, the littlest things can make you happy.

You see, when I was 16, I had glasses, braces and more freckles then I care to admit. No one told me that the same day you go to take the written part of your driver’s test that they take your picture. Convenient, right?! If you pass the test, you don’t have to go back and take your picture.

Yea, it makes sense, but no one thought it would be a good idea to tell me.

So I went, with wet hair up in a bun and a baggy white hooded sweatshirt, to take my exam.

After I handed the exam to the um, very nice(?) lady behind the counter, she said, “Go sit down over there to have your picture taken.”

Even my mom, who is supposed to think I’m beautiful no matter what, looked at me and immediately starting barking suggestions on how I could make myself look better for this unexpected photo shoot.

Despite her efforts, some weeks later, I got my license in the mail and it was… well… judge for yourself.

No, it’s not your computer. In the actual photo, my nose does look like Gonzo’s from the Muppets, I do look like a drowned fish, and my mouth does look silver and rectangle shaped from my braces.

Now, you might ask, “Why didn’t you just go retake it?”

Well, in high school, I ran track all the time and skipping practice to take a new driver’s license picture wasn’t going to fly with my coach. Then, I just got used to it. When I was away at college and turned 21, I had to get it renewed through the mail. Now, I work during the day in D.C. and can’t make it back to New York when the DMV is open.

So, for now, that’s what I’m stuck with, and I don’t really mind it anymore to be honest. If anything, it’s always a good conversation starter and it’s nice to know I’ll always win at something!

Moral of the story: be prepared for anything and everything. Or end up with a picture like mine, and learn to live with it.